My heart and my mind are two very contradicting parts of me. Very often I find myself debating and arguing with none other than myself. The voices resonating from within, I just wished it'd zip it. And the likely result; 'Ntahlah'.

I've got plenty to share but Im indecisive. I spent hours typing and thinking but only to end up clicking on the x button.

I had stopped seeing HIM. I can't lie to myself. Im Sorry. The ring, you knew I can't accept it and my promise. Thank you for the long message. I'll miss you old friend.

Chinese Boy, I still want you to pursue your dreams and I still want to be your tai-tai. :) I appreciate your kind intentions but it's too soon to speak. I owe you a dinner date at the carousel.


You may have your flaws and downsides but boy, I can't get you out of my mind.

The days when..
you would go grocery shopping to cook for me.
we would brush our teeth together.
I would write you tonnes of love letters.
we made pinky and tongue lock promises.
you tuck me in and kiss me before you leave.
I would pretend to be mad and irritate you.
you hold and hugged me tight at times of need.
we love to go to east coast and talk about the future.
I would peep at you shitting.
you would go rollerblading and I would be cycling next to you.
we would spend hours talking at the coffeeshop.
I would pretend to smoke and see you humour me.
you had your hair dyed in the room.
we went KL shopping.
I would wait for you to fetch me by the leture theatre.
you surprise me with the valentine gifts.
we challenged one another to monopoly.
I would avoid your kisses because I was shy.
you had no choice but to eat my cornbeef sandwiches.
we work together and shared lunch meals.

It's been almost four years. I ain't got time to summarise it all. I love you sincerely and Im too used to you. Chinese Boy, what colour shall our fifth raya outfit be? :)