the paradox that life is like a bed of roses

Tuesday, December 6 Y 12/06/2005 01:40:00 pm

i feel alive once again.
quitin mng makes me feel good.
hadta dragg mom to accompany me to cp.
hadto send my hp for servicing.
tt 3230 is giving me heart aches. bah.
1stly screen problems.
n then minor phone hangs.
n now it just wont start.
i think its time i donate e phone to hazwan.
since i lost his k700i. hahas.

had dinner at pizza hut.
went jln2 wit mom.
i feel more of myself.
rather than someone im not.
a werking girl. definitely not.

hazwan came over at 8.
had his dinner here.
wanted to mit yanni.. but yani cudnt make it.
wanted to go her place. but khai went homey.
so we went to pr park instead.
ended up chillin at mac till 11.
den balek lah.

girls nite out~
lalalala. i cant wait.
dee n yani will b celebrating our birthdays together.
yanni planned it!. i love u babe!
ana n tee pls make up ur mind~
i hope tis plan goes well..
im sure it'll b sheer madness.

too bad yanti cudnt join us.
BUT we'll b having a girls nite/day in wit u babe! ;)

called yani..
told her abt e plan..
she loike it too..
wee.. n b4 we hung up..
she was like love u dee.. =)
aww im so touched.
so i ended up sayin lops u to e otha gfs..
hehes.

emm.. wat else to update..
abt taggies.. dunch bother.
its not really a bigg fuss.
anyway i wonder hu's e anonymous person.
its rather annoying to get anonymous ppl to tag u.
hahas. cos they r anonymous.
annoying anonymous~.. hahas.
not u la anonymous..
e werds just sounded nice to me. yea

another thing is abt dis rev thingy.
i did not mention any names. did i?
so if ppl terase dun blame me.
not happy? go ahead. gossip? have it ur wayy~

i seriously dun have anything towards rev.
i mean yea. just like other ordinary designs.
i was merely experessing my views on how i feel.
im not forcing hazwan to b outta rev.

he told me rev(wdls) is diff now.
last time wen baru2.. it was fun uhk..
gerek all mcm all for 1 .. 1 for all..
n now.. sum mcm da stuck up..
tk dtg skit kene fuck.
mcm crap kn.

n wen he dunch have bike.
ppl expect him to come to railway.
but hu is actually willing to tompang.
n now oso he is so mls to attend such functions.
but he's not e only one hu's got dis mindset.
yea.

talked to him abt dis.
apologised. maybe my entry mite get him into trouble.
he said he dun mind. besides its true he said rev is diff now.
da mcm yet another commitment in life g2.

he said he wunt b angry or upset.
just i dunch noe.
but he said mcm he was e 1st wdls boy to join rev..
n now da bnyk2.. n he pulak kene tendang..
just tt.. yea..

nana.
hu r u to say he will kene tendang.
no offence. but by taggin tt way it will only affect him.
its nt just him alone wit tis mindset.
my reply. e pathetic one.
was referin to acc to abg boy e helmet thingy.
its ever so pathetic tt pillion cant use their own helmets.
its all up to ur ownself.. either u want or dunch want.
as fer me. i do not hav a choice but to use nizam helmet.
hazwan has no extra helmet.
n im going to get my own helmet soon. yea.

to amin.
kalau nk pakai helmet sendiri carik matae yg tk main cutting.
cutting lain pon tkde nk ckp tu mcm la.
cutting lain pon pillion ade pakai helmet itam la.
u dunch hafto say those werds la.
aku pon tk mintak wan masok rev.
aku pon tak tau dia rev in e 1st place la.
n 1 more thing. kau nk sibuk2 nie apehal.
no offence ar. tpi kau sms ckp aku bring rev down la.
ape aku tk ckup spent time wit wan ke.
asal kene suro wan kluar la.
ape nana tk perna suro kau klua?

my entry was just a mere suggestion.
n my views on how i feel abt all dis design thingy.
i had no intentions or watsoever to criticise rev.
fine if u're so called terluka or affected.
den im sorry. but i cant do anithink abt it.
u cant expect everyone to like rev.

fyi i did not force him ok.
y are u so bothered by me askin him to klua?
nape dulu tk ckp gini?
u wanna noe y?

dulu.. wan tk perna complain2 psl rev nie sume..
n now he said rev is diff..
n he did complain alot to me..
n just last week he said he da mcm da mls lah.
n he's not e only one. even es n mail had e same mindset.
n he said tt it's just like wearing a helmet tpi tkde rase2 ape2..

den wat's e use of being in rev u tell me?
n wat is so fuckin wrong wit me askin him to klua..
wen all he feel is nothing but just like wearing a helmet.
u tell me is tt a harm to him?
am i being so unfair?..
afterall i did not have probs wit him being rev all dis while.

n now wen he said he tkde hati all..
n wen i ask him to kluar.
ppl blame me.
make such a bigg fuss about it..
like as if im e one forcing him to quit.

to ppl hu tk paham2 bahase.
i DID NOT force him to keluar.
all i did was gave him a suggestion tt it is better to kluar.
i am not trying to b unfair ke ape.
i am just doing this for his own bloody good.
n if u ppl think quitin is such a big deal.
u can eat shit n die.
all it does is commitments-free.
im not askin him to stay away from rev.
he could still go out wit dem.
go functions n lepak wit dem.
just no fuckin unneccessary commitments.

quitin rev n tk pakai helmet rev is afterall not a big deal.
wat matters most is ur willingness.. interest n friendship.
not those unneccesary commitments.

n to those hu cant differentiate betwn neccessary n unneccesary cmmts..
eat shit n die.

5days in becomin sweet 16~