the paradox that life is like a bed of roses

Wednesday, May 25 Y 5/25/2005 12:32:00 am

hee. im glad tt things r back to normal. yea.
thanks to e girls.. yea. love em lots.
special thanks to yanni.
yea. she talked to us.
good opinions n advices. yea. thot abt it.
thanks yanni. afterall i shud move on.
yea. n maybe it wasn't actually love. yea.
hee.. love u yanni.

chat wit her just now.
hee. gossips.
dee n yanni convo. hee.
talked abt lotsa stuffs. yea.
we have e same thots seh.
sheesh. =)
so funni seh .. yest she didn't believe tt it was e right bus stop.
heeks. she thot we were kidding.
need to put more trust in me. hee.
thankiuk yanni for everything. hee.
n e girls too.
oh yea. n not forgetttin amin!
thanks ya~.. a nice and caring friend indeed. yea.
afterall wat u said was true.
hee. im sorry i was so ignorant at tt pt of time.
yea.

it might seemed shocking ya.
yea. i noe. n unfair.
im so sorry peeps. was totally mad n fucked up.
growing confusion.
yea. maybe u won't understand but it's ok.
we're ok now.
yea.
i didn't mean to hurt him. yea.
i was in total confusion.
yea. oh! 1 more thing!
my decision wasn't an excuse to get back wit man.
n it ain't obvious tt i want him back.
yea. get this straight alright.
pls dun jump into conclusions.
cud have done tt long ago.
besides cud have gave a much better reason.
yea. a more reasonable one i mean. yea.
rather than confused. yea.
so think b4 u say.
ain't gonna get back wit man.
wat's past is past.
im moving on. n never coming back to his life.
i love hazwan. yea.
ok friends. guess i've explained enough.
like i said go gossip if u want.
but just don't jump into conclusions.
alritey?*smirks*

okay.. so i went out wit my family n hazwan to bedokcorner.
mamam ler. heeks. syawal n shida was there too.
yea. hazwan was sleepy. yea. nah look more like asleep.
heeks. wit so tiny eyes. can't differentiate between sleepy n asleep.
haaks. ookok. so today. didn't attend sch. was too tired.
yea. met hazwan again.
went to his grandparents place. had our lunch there.
his grandmom cooked asam pedas n some vege dishes. yea.
erm. i loike e asam pedas. nice. but was too malu to tambah.heeks.
besides e rest were vege dishes. so kinda not so in e mood to eat.
yea. helped them to clear e table. hee. his grandmom. i loike. sooo CUTE!!!!
hee. wished my grandmom is still here wit me.
yea. his grandparents reminds me alot of my late grandparents.
haiz. i miss them real bad. unfortunate me. yea.
paternal grandparents. bluek. they don't like me. yea.
sheesh. let's not talk about them!
ok. so i miss my datuk n nenek. yea. went to the cemetery yest.
yea. was in totally depressed. so i turned to my late grandparents.
grandma died when i was 5. grandad died when i was 14. yea.
i used to have hopes of going over to their place when im older.
u noe visit them after sch.. or during my working days. yea.
crushed hopes. sheesh! better not get emo. hazwan noes y.

hrmn ok. so later we went to cp..
jln2. civic. we talk2 ler. mamam. yea.
talk about our lovelife. yea.
nothing much. back to normal.
glad tt i made a wise choice. yea.
thanks peeps.

to hazwan. im very sowie darling.
i didn't mean to hurt u.
guess im just ignorant. yea.
hope u understand.
i promise there won't b any such craps in e future.
yea. e 2 5 7 9 11 yr plans will still go on.
heeks. yea. im so very sowie hubby.
like i said leavin u wasn't in my mind.
ok only u knew this.. hee*winks*
besides y wud i ever leave u??
1: u're so damn loving n nice! compared to other guys. yea. i feel so lucky!
2: patience! u've got tt.. unlike me..
3: soft-hearted. yea not so degil like me.
4: those sepet eyes. i loike~adorable..
5: e lembutnees. heeks. like i said i've got a thing 4 lembut guys. hee
6: all e bad n good times. i've always treasured.
7: e baby days. heeks. memorable. but bluek! it sucks. yea. hee
8: ur lame jokes. haaks yea u never fail to make me laugh.
9: with a well-planned future ahead. i wudn't want it to go down e drain..
10: afterall u're e one i love.

i love u hazwan. yes i do.
im truly sorry for wat has happened. yea.
i love you.

ps: happy 7 mths.[24.10.04].yea. i love u ssooooo much!
*wet kisses wit licks* heeks..